Vacation Without My Toddler: Reflections on Self-Care, Guilt, and Recharging

I'm currently on a little getaway with my husband, soaking up some quiet moments away from our bustling household. Yep, it's just the two of us, no diaper changes or toddler negotiations in sight. And while I miss our little girl like crazy, I've been reflecting on some pretty important self-care lessons that I wanted to share with you.

It's Okay to Miss Them and Still Enjoy the Silence

Let me tell you, the silence is both eerie and blissful. I find myself checking for our daughter's giggles or the pitter-patter of her tiny feet. But in the quiet, I'm rediscovering parts of myself and my relationship with my husband that were a bit buried under the beautiful chaos of parenting. It's a reminder that before the nighttime stories and early morning cuddles, there was just us. And nurturing that foundation is not just okay—it's essential.

Guilt, The Uninvited Guest

Ah, guilt. It sneaks in the moment you start enjoying a cup of coffee without having to reheat it three times. But here's the thing—I'm learning to kindly show guilt the door. Asking family to step in or finding a trusted babysitter isn't selfish; it's a gesture of love towards yourself and, by extension, your family. It allows you to recharge so you can return even more present and engaged. It's a win-win, even if guilt tries to convince you otherwise.

Self-Care Isn't Just Bubble Baths

Self-care on this trip has looked a lot different than the usual quick showers turned into covert spa moments. It's about being responsible for just me again, even if momentarily. It's about not planning meals, worrying about nutritional content, or the endless household logistics. It's the freedom to read a book, stay up late watching movies without paying for it the next morning, and remembering that being a great mom also means taking great care of yourself.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Care

This little break is teaching me that self-care has a ripple effect. By taking this time, I'm not only better for myself but for my family too. And isn't that a powerful lesson to pass on to our kids? We're showing them that valuing your well-being, setting boundaries, and taking breaks aren't selfish acts but acts of self-respect.

Every Moment Away Is a Reminder

Every second away from our daughter is a reminder of the vibrant, consuming love of parenthood. But it's also a nudge to remember that to give love freely and wholly, we need to start with loving ourselves. It's about finding balance, embracing the beautiful mess, and knowing that it's okay to take a step back to breathe, recharge, and dive back in with even more to give.

So, to all the amazing parents out there feeling the tug of guilt or the weight of exhaustion, know that it's more than okay to take a moment for yourself. It's necessary. Your family loves you for it, and you deserve it.

Until next time, keep loving fiercely, but don't forget to save some of that love for yourself.

With warmth and understanding,
Elisabeth

P.S. These reflections might seem far-fetching for some, but rest assured the science actually supports this!

Parental Self-Care and Parenting Quality
Parental self-care is crucial for the well-being of both parents and children. It has been found that parental self-efficacy, a belief in one's ability to manage parenting responsibilities effectively, is associated with positive outcomes in children's development and parental mental health. Enhanced parental self-efficacy can lead to better parent-child relationships and parenting quality, ultimately supporting children's social, emotional, and cognitive development (Albanese, Russo, & Geller, 2019); (Benedetto & Ingrassia, 2018).

Modeling Self-Care for Children
Parents play a significant role in modeling health behaviors for their children. Research shows that children are more likely to engage in self-care and develop healthy habits when they observe their parents doing the same. This includes behaviors related to physical health, diet, exercise, and managing emotions effectively. The impact of parental modeling extends to educational settings, where children's conduct and academic performance can be influenced by their observations of parental behavior (Szapocznik et al., 2006).

Impact of Diverse Environments on Child Development
Diverse environments, including physical settings like green spaces and mixed-use neighborhoods, play a role in child development. Access to a variety of environments can support physical health, social competence, emotional maturity, and cognitive development in children. The presence of natural settings and the quality of the neighborhood built environment have been associated with positive developmental outcomes (Christian et al., 2015); (Ferguson, Cassells, MacAllister, & Evans, 2013).