My Declining Mental Health on Vacation
Vacations are often portrayed as the ultimate way to relax, unwind, and reconnect with loved ones. Yet, what happens when the very thing that’s supposed to rejuvenate you starts to break you down? This summer, while staying at our family home on a beautiful French island, I found myself facing a surprising struggle with my mental health, and it was an eye-opening experience.
Thriving at Home: The Power of Routine
At home, I thrive. After battling postpartum depression, I’ve built a life filled with routines and systems that work not just for me, but for my entire family. My days have a predictable rhythm: dropping my daughter off at daycare, hitting the gym, enjoying a long, peaceful shower (a non-negotiable for my mental health), and then diving into work. I’ve crafted a lifestyle that not only allows me to be productive but also ensures I have time to prepare dinner, order groceries online, and most importantly, take care of myself.
One of the most sacred parts of my routine is my early morning hour to myself. I’ve trained my body to wake up naturally around 6 AM, a full hour before my daughter stirs. This precious time allows me to savor my favorite café latte with cinnamon sugar and oat milk, enjoy the serenity of the early morning light, and recharge in solitude. Whether it’s basking in the summer sunshine or curling up by the fireplace with a good book in winter, this hour is my lifeline.
The Vacation Disruption: When Routine Falls Apart
However, all of this stability and calmness seemed to vanish when we went on vacation. While I’m incredibly grateful for the privilege of staying in our family home near the beach, I quickly learned that vacationing with a toddler is a completely different ballgame.
At home, our daughter thrives on the routines we’ve established. She knows what to expect throughout the day, which keeps her (and us) happy and temper-tantrum free. But on vacation, our routine was thrown out the window. Without our usual childcare support, combined with the uncertainty that each day brought, I found myself unraveling.
Our daughter was going through a significant growth spurt, and the change in environment only added to her challenges. The lifestyle on the island was different too—children eating ice cream at all hours, nap schedules that didn’t align with ours, and bedtimes that stretched into the late night. All of this contributed to a sense of chaos that I wasn’t prepared for.
The Breaking Point and the Path to Recovery
It didn’t take long before I started feeling the weight of this disruption. My workout routine was gone, I wasn’t sleeping well, and even though I initially felt blissful being on vacation, that feeling quickly faded. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and on the brink of burnout.
If it weren’t for my husband, who gently asked, “Honey, are you alright? How is your mental health?” I might not have even realized how badly I was struggling. There’s this unspoken pressure to be happy on vacation because that’s what vacations are for, right? But the reality was that I wasn’t okay, and it was time to make some changes.
Reclaiming Routine: Vacation Mode 2.0
Recognizing that the lack of routine was the main culprit for my declining mental health, we decided to create a new plan—what we now call Routine 2.0 (Vacation Mode). While it’s important to let go a little on vacation, we also acknowledged that with a 2.5-year-old, some structure is necessary.
The first step was to reinstate a stricter nap and sleep schedule for our daughter. This was crucial for her well-being and ours. I also started taking naps when she did, which helped me catch up on much-needed rest. Food planning had become a major stress factor, so my husband took the lead on creating a structured meal plan for the rest of our stay, which included simplifying meals and sharing the cleanup duties.
For my own mental health, we made a few more adjustments. I carved out time every afternoon for meditation, and we both committed to helping me maintain a workout routine every other morning before breakfast. Lastly, I set aside 2 hours each day, either in the morning or afternoon, to do some low-stress work, like writing this blog. Writing has always been a creative outlet for me, and having that time to let my thoughts flow has been incredibly therapeutic.
Embracing Change and Finding Balance
This experience taught me that it’s okay to feel challenged on vacation, especially as a parent. Our lives have changed dramatically since our daughter arrived, and that’s something to accept—even when it feels difficult. What’s important is recognizing when things aren’t working and being proactive in making adjustments.
If you’re a mom struggling on vacation, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to admit that you’re not feeling your best and to take steps to create a vacation routine that works for you and your family. After all, vacations should be enjoyable, but that doesn’t mean they’re always easy. By making a few changes, we were able to reclaim our joy and return to a sense of balance—even in the midst of a summer getaway.
