Navigating Intimacy After Birth: Stories, Research, and Steps
Giving birth is amazing, and intense, and can be painful. If you’ve gone through a vaginal birth you literally pushed out a whole human being down there! Understandably your body changes a lot during pregnancy, but once you’re baby in earth-side your body goes through another big change; transforming into your mom body. At Elle’s Corner we celebrate bodies of all shapes and sizes, what matter to us is how you feel in your own body! However, we also very much acknowledge that the first time being intimate with your partner after birth can be exiting, daunting, or even scary. In this blog you’ll read all about the hows & whats, experiences from other moms, and my own journey in this new and unexplored territory.
Personal Stories: Real Experiences from Moms
Emily's Journey: Overcoming Challenges Emily, a new mom, recalls the early days post-birth, filled with wonder and exhaustion. "After childbirth, my body felt different, and so did my emotions," she shares. "It took time to feel comfortable in my own skin again." Emily and her partner faced these changes head-on, focusing on open communication and patience. "We started with simple gestures of affection, like cuddling and holding hands," she explains. "These small acts helped us reconnect emotionally, paving the way for intimacy to naturally follow."
Maria's Experience: Rediscovering Connection Maria, a mother of two, reflects on her journey of rediscovering intimacy after childbirth. "Each pregnancy brought new changes," she says. "From fluctuating hormones to physical recovery, it was a journey of adaptation." Maria emphasizes the importance of self-care and communication. "Taking time for myself, whether through exercise or quiet moments, helped me feel more confident," she shares. "Talking openly with my partner about our needs and desires allowed us to navigate these changes together."
Research Insights: Understanding the Changes
Physical Recovery: After childbirth, your body needs time to heal. It's important to wait until any postpartum bleeding has stopped and vaginal soreness has eased before getting back to sexual activity. This approach minimizes discomfort and reduces the risk of complications. Healthcare professionals suggest you wait at least 6 weeks after birth before trying penetrative sex. But that doesn’t mean you cannot be intimate with your partner (or yourself) before those 6 weeks are up. Most moms in my practice try things out by themselves before they try anything with their partners. This is something I wholeheardetly recommend, your body has changed (and that is okay) but that means you now have the opportunity to get re-aquinted with yourself. I can recommend this book if you want to read more about it in depth.
Hormonal Shifts: Postpartum hormonal changes, including a decrease in estrogen levels, can affect your libido and vaginal lubrication. Understanding these shifts helps you manage expectations and explore ways to maintain intimacy during this time. Do yourself an favor and get a tube of lube that you like in your home (nothing special or with any scents, this will just increase the risk of irritation). Please also tell yourself (and your partner if needed) that needing lube during intercourse is in no way a reflection of your own arousal or lack thereof. This is the lube I was recommended by my physical therapist.
Emotional Well-being: Many mothers experience emotional ups and downs after birth, such as fatigue or anxiety, which can affect sexual desire. Open communication, mutual support, and seeking guidance from healthcare providers are key to navigating these challenges. If you are reading this while you are still pregnant, I encourage you to start this dialog with your partner now. If you’re reading this postpartum; don’t panic. You can read the practical steps to building intimacy after birth below. The most important piece of advice I would’ve liked to give myself (and I also give my clients) is to make sure you speak up about your own thoughts, expectations, and fears. Your partner isn’t a mind reader, and you’ll do yourself and him/her a disservice by not being honest and open.
Practical Steps: Building Intimacy After Birth
Open Communication: Start with honest conversations about your expectations, concerns, and desires with your partner. This builds trust and understanding.
Take It Slow: Begin with non-sexual physical intimacy, like cuddling and gentle touches, to rebuild closeness and comfort.
Prioritize Self-Care: Focus on self-care practices that promote relaxation and confidence, such as getting enough rest, exercising, and engaging in activities you enjoy.
Seek Professional Guidance: If you have concerns about your physical recovery or changes in libido, consult with a healthcare provider for personalized advice and support.
Explore Together: Be patient and adaptable as you explore what feels comfortable and enjoyable for both of you. Experiment with different techniques or positions that accommodate physical changes.
Connect with Elle's Corner
At Elle's Corner, we understand the journey of motherhood and the importance of maintaining intimacy and your relationship with your partner after childbirth. Our transformative online courses and supportive online counseling are designed to empower you with tools and techniques to navigate this chapter with confidence and resilience. Join our vibrant community on Instagram and explore our enriching courses at here.
As you embark on this journey of rediscovery, remember that each step forward is a testament to your strength and adaptability. With patience, communication, and self-care, you can nurture intimacy in your relationship and embrace the joy of motherhood to the fullest.
Let's navigate this journey together. Join Elle's Corner today and empower yourself with knowledge and support.
